USED to BE :(

how sad... OMG ! i'm so sad . he makes me like a "tunggul kayu" right now . i think that i'm so alone rite now . without you , i feel weird . ! heyy , listen : HUN loves you tightly DEAR !

it was all used to be . the story began here . one lovely evening in school , he called my name . my FULL name ( nur ain syuhada ) . feel like melting in the hottest sunshine . i was on my way back to hostel . then , in a sudden he called me because he saw me from canteen . firstly , i thought that he was calling other people . but , NO ! it was my name that he shouted for 3 times . i'm so excited but pretending that i'm not . i stopped at the "susur gajah" that was full of manila card . i turned around and saw him smiling at me . i wondered why ? why must he called my name and ran after me on that day ? just walked together all the way . and , i don't know why i gave him a lollypop . it's just a lollypop rite ? but , he smiles as sweet as cotton candy while receiving it . my heart on that time was like want to jump out of my body . HAHHA ! so~ in LOVE .

and the conversation began :

HUN : knape pggil aku ? *pelik jea

DEAR : saje je .

at this moment i gave him the lollypop .

HUN : kau ta sehat ker ? demam ea ?

DEAR : emm , tadelah . cket jea . ehh , aku balik esok taw .

HUN : yeke ? bkn mlm hari nie ker ?

DEAR : eyh , mane kau twu nie ?
HUN : :) aku twu laa..

DEAR : aah , betol laa uw . ehh , td dyorang bincang pasal ape ?

HUN : (blablabla...) ohh , anyway , knape kau kene balik ?

DEAR : sbb disuruh .

HUN : :) pape jela kau nie .

people started staring at us . and my steps went faster . he chased after me .

DEAR : knape kau asyek tnye knape aku balik je ? klau aku balik , kau rindu aku ker ?

HUN : (turned back , looked at his face and... ) aah ! ;D

DEAR : ahhh~ (hugged one of the pole with happy + melty + cutie face)

omg , again my heart was stomping even faster . only can smiled sincerely to him and pretend to be cool . 

HUN : emm , knape nie ?

DEAR : tade pape , hehe .

HUN : oke .

DEAR : ehh , nty msg taw .

HUN : mcm mne nk msg ? aku kan kat skola 

DEAR : iyela , xpe , aku tunggu kau .

HUN : betol nie kau nk tggu ?

DEAR : betol... :)

HUN : oke !

DEAR : da solat ke belom nie ?

HUN : belom lg lah . tula , da lmbat da nie .

DEAR : ouh , aku tggu kau taw . dah , pegi mndilah . bushuk ! 

HUN : emm , iyela , org nk mndi la nie .
DEAR : bubye !

HUN : byebye !

huh~ feel like the luckiest girl in the world . i ran happily , screamed loudly , jumped highly on that day . how can i tell you ? i just can't believe that it's all happened to me in a moment . thanks god . a day without him means nothing to me . i was too excited to go back home . luckily it was friday . packed all my things with happy face . can't wait to see what'll happen next . went to seremban . my phone , oh shit , the prepaid has expired . wait until 5 . then , i top up my phone . 3 messages sent by him . asking me where have i been . sorry dear , i'm hear but my phone was out of credit . he told me that he has waited for me for almost 27 hours . how long is that ? i can't believe it . we text and he started to ask me some weird questions . suddenly , i confessed to him that i like him . and , ya , he liked me first , and waited for me for 3 months . just me , didn't realize that . yeah ! he promise to take care of me , my feeling with the best as he could . unofficially , i've accept him as my someone special . he was so excited and called me CYG . i told him that i'm not so interested with that "cyg" . so , we decided to use "kau & aku" . first time in my life . ohh , how much i miss that moment ! he was so~ sweet like sugar . we text until night . sorry , midnight . then he said he wanted to give me a call . sure baby . i'm glad . when i heard his voice , emmm , i was speechless . don't know what to say . sorry babe . i was shy . i know you too felt like me . don't you even lie to me dear . continue until next day . he asked me to WEBBIE with him . for sure i did that . stared each other without saying any words . how sweet... he's so cute man ! i'm not lying . and the way he copied on what i did that moment made me smile to him . seriously , i love the way he was . i was holding and hugging my heart-shape pillow . then , he took his pillow too and did the same thing . so , naughty . but , i didn't mind at all . i love him so much . 

wanna know , he asked me to baked a cake for him . and , i did it . just because of him . school holidays were over . and i met him at school . this story gonna be more interesting . he suddenly , had a pick-a-boo with me at the window in my class . i was so shocked . how dare you did that to me dear . act , he wanted the cake . so , i gave a tupperware of cake to him . some of my friends saw that . but , me , as usual pretending like nothing happen . just be like a normal person . :) hmmm . passed by my class and with his serious face , he called me to go outside from the back door . i just don't know what he wanted from me . just followed him to the outside .

HUN : kenape pggil org nie ?

DEAR : xde pape...

HUN : laa , baek x payah . org nk masuk la

DEAR : ehh , sabar laa

HUN : aku takot org nmpak lah . nty dyorang pker bukan bukan pulak

DEAR : ala , mne ade org la . kejap laa..

HUN : oke... nape nie ?

DEAR : I LOVE YOU !

HUN : ahhh~~~

DEAR : takkan tu je ?

HUN : i love you too... :)

with my blushing face , went into the class and again pretending that i'm not doing anything with him . OMG ~ what will you feel if you were at my place . like heaven right ? but now , look , what is happening to me ? i'm alone . an awkward lonely girl . where is my dear ? i don't even know . when i asked him , why does he changed ? he won't answer me . is that my fault . dear , i beg you . please treat me like you did 2 months before . i miss the old you dear . miss it so much . please... for me , at least once . how lucky me if you can read this . i want you coz i miss you coz i love you . and i need you by side now . i' alone . all day long , i'm waiting for you dear . never forget you . you will always gonna be my BOO ! forever & ever . i love you so much . please understand me .

sungguh...

sungguh... melampau betol hari nie . tido lmbat , bgn msty arr lmbat kan ? nseb baek ta kene mara . dushh ! bapak boring weyh . aku da ta taw nk wat ape lg . hehh , title pon SUNGGUH . so , rase mcm nk cerita about a day in TMS for just only 3 hours & 30 mins . haha , i've already counted it . heytt , it's awesome babe ! walaupon ta lame . wanna noe why ? sbb met ain k , leesya & aten . yg laen uw mcm ta bape nk kesah sgt same ade jumpe or x . rendu weyh ngn dyorang !

HAHA ! sku nie mcm tuan pu3 yg disambut di hdapan pagar skola uw . thax ain & rabell sbb sudi jd aku pnye pengiring all the way to the field a.k.a tapak perhimpunan . gelakk sakan lahh aku kat sane . tp , yg peliknye , cekgu yati pergh ! pggil aku dr atas uw semate mate sbb aku pkai baju laen . HAHHH ~ mcm ta bese pulakk kan . mmg dye suke malukan org kott . ceyh , nseb baek lahh ade boys kat depan back up aku kate aku ex student . haaa , selamat la jugakk en ? tp , nk x nk dye suro aku pegi kantin . ceytt ! potong semangat aku nk line up dgn dyorang jea . haha . xpe arr , suke aty kau la . yg pnting kau bhagie .

hmm , ta pegi pon kantin , dok dlm toilet , borak ngn lisa . haha , jahat an aku ? xpela , tu bkn skola aku pon . ape kau kesahhh ? hehh , abes assembly , pegilah pulakk ke kantin . budakbudak 3 org uw puas cary aku . hehe , aku bkn pegi mane pon . hiding skejap jer . then , borakborakborak smpai puas . ambik2 gmba bgai . gossip2 with aten . paling best ! yg penting ade pulakk laa malaun malaun tnye aku pasal si eddy uh ! HOYYY ! saketnye haty , tp chill jer ar . aku bukannye ape pon . ex gf jea . nseb baek dy ta muncul hari tuh . mmg niat ta mao jumpe ponn . da bnyak amik gmba an , last2 aku suroh adekadek form 3 yg ambik pulakk . upload sekali , haha , malas punye pasal . mcm tu la aku . ala , sekali sekala kan adekadek ?

haa , telupe nk cter pasal hazim yg gemox uw ! haish~ ta abes abes dok kate aku tembam . but , it's a fact . aku ta sangkal pon . haha , cume sakit haty jugakk ahh . aku tau la aku gemox kan ? jgn la mention berjuta2 kali . hohoiiii~ cube kau jd aku , nak ke gemok ? x nak kan ? alih alih , peanut ngn kepeng pon tego . dgn banggenye aku jwb : i love my body , so what ? haha . jgn amik aty aw . sume tu gurawan sematemate . korang paham aku kan ? hehe , mekaceh taw kawankawan . aku syg korang sume ! :D

lamelame aku rase mcm da tade pape nk buadd dah . so , decide nk balik umah . lgpon da janji ngn ibu .

 *sakai gler rupe aku kat tms uh . mcm org gler !

is it my FATE ?

Hyep ! asal rase mcm nk luahkan segalegalenye kat sini ? kawan ? sume da tido kott . da pukol bape pulak kan ? dekat pukul 5 pg daa.. aku jea mengong ta tidotido lg . Hmpph , kenape dgn aku hari nie ? ENTAH la . act , aku rindu kat dye sgt2 weyh . mne dye pegi selame hampir setengah hari ? seolaholah mngelak drpd aku jea . salah aku ker ? ape aku da buadd kat dye ? ke , ini cume perasaan aku . nk kate dye lupekan aku... tak pulakk . sbb dye alert dgn stiap tindakan aku kat fb uh . pelik pulakk rasenye . tp aku still ta paham ngn dye . susah sgt ke nk send msg kat aku neh ? nk kate bz , tak pulakk . tak tau lahh kot ade org laen yg buadd dye bz . hmm... hnye mampu sabar . be strong aien . ye , aku mengaku , aku syg sgt kat dye . x taw ahh kenape mudah sgt jatoh cinte ngn dye . cara dye uw , susa nk terangkan mcm mne . tp aku mmg impressed with his way . and i love him just the way he is . bukan sng nk dpat guy mcm dye . tp bile pker2 balik , mcm aku nie bodoh . knape pilih dye dlm mase tgh study ? mne pegi janji janji aku dgn my ownself dulu ? smua tinggal janji je . diri sendiri nie mmg tak gunee kott . xreti nk melawan kehendak . brape bulan jea aku bertahan . huh , just from bulan 2 smpai 9 . then , dgn katakata dye jer aku lemah ! HOYYY ! wake up aien ! sedar diri uw cket . but... it's too late . paham ? too late for you dear . and , since that , i've promised to myself : aien kene jadikan dye sbg pembakar semangat , saingan utk teroskan study , jgn cepat jeles (tp mmg selalu pon), as a student , jgn sng lalai , jadikan ape yg baik kat dye as an example to your ownself , never show yourself as a weak girl as you've shown to ur ex bf before , be strong , jgn cepat bangge , plus , never feel PUAS for what you already had . one more thing : jgn anggap dye tu aien punye sorang jea . dah melalut terlebihlebih pulakk . haa , kan , da agak da . mmg blog nie tmpat utk aku luahkan segala galenye . sorry dear , HUN terpakse buad mcm nie . sbb , bile hun nk ckp kat dear jea , hun ta smpai haty , just like what had happen to you just now . last2 , hun sndiri yg suroh dear abaikan hun . then , u asked me to chill . OH GOD ! betape saketnye haty hun mase tu , seolah olah dear mmg ta ambik berat pasal hun ! tp , xpe , hun paham .mybe dear ta suke bende yg complicated . now , aku rase mmg aku deserve bnde nie pon . sbb , padan muke aku atas keputusan aku sendiri . tp , bile dye tnye , ape aku nk dye buad so that dye dpat puaskan haty aku , aku sendiri yg ta dpat jwb . ape cer ? masalah kan ? aku sbenanye ta paham dye sngat lah . dulu , tyme awal awal , pergh ! aku ckap ahh , dye sgt caring + comell gylak . love him so much . he was like a boy yg smue gurls idamkan . dann , tyme uw rase , betape betuahnye hidop aku nie dpt dye . rase mcm dtg 1 hidayah jugak . hati aku makin terbukak utk dkat dgn islam . but , it's all USED TO BE . skrg , diri dye uh da hilang . mne peginye ? entah la . ape yg aku boley nuadd , hnye bersabar . tp , seriously , sgt sgt rendu ngn dye yg dulu . selalu dah ckop bnde nie kat dye . then , dye akn realize skejap jea . but , it's better than nothing rite ? anyway , i LOVE him so much .

*suke sgt sgt dye letak my pic as wallpaper on his phone . he said : comel ! :)

cry & smile

hari nie , rase mcm best . tp pelik . ade jugak arr inisiatif to get know him better , but still x smpai hasrat tuh . bile aku ckap cket td , aku pulak yg rase bersalah . ntah2 dye da boring ngn aku kott ! hehh , ntah la . rase nk cmpak je phone nehh siang td . tp yg peliknye , tyme aku rase sangat alone , dye muncul pulak ! mcm dye boley bace isi hati aku . susah weyy , nk citer kat ramai org kang , bahaya pulakk ! sebab , ramai yg x tau pasal kami . haih , tu yg terdetik nk buat blog . dulu ade , tp dah tue kott . lupe segale mcm password . puas aku tekan sane , tekan sini , tp.... hmphh , ta jumpe jugak . last2 , create account baru lah jwbnye . betape kosongnye blog aku nehh ! nk suruh org tgok pon malu kott . tp , xpela . pelanpelan . bak kate nenek aku . penat type . jap lg sambung balek ahh . BYEBYE ~

muke sekarang , sangat hodoh